A regular practice our interns and apprentices participate in at 3 Streams is called a “Check In.” Rooted in one of our pillars, Emotional and Relational Health, this practice invites us to name what we are feeling and notice how those feelings affect the way we show up with others. Becoming emotionally and relationally healthy does not mean learning to feel less. It means becoming aware of what is happening within us and choosing how to respond.
In Genesis 3:9, God’s first question to humanity is, “Where are you?” God asks this as Adam and Eve are hiding. It is a question that invites them out of hiding and into an honest encounter with him.
We can receive that question as an invitation, too. Before rushing into the responsibilities of each day, we can pause and become curious: Where am I today? What is happening within me? Am I feeling afraid, angry, sad, or glad? We do not have to arrive at a different emotional place before meeting with God or others. We can begin by honestly acknowledging where we are.
Chip Dodd says this about our feelings:
“Feelings are not impulses that need to be controlled; they are tools that we need to learn how to use well so that we do not behave impulsively and act out without the ability to take responsibility. They are tools that allow us to live truthfully and move responsibly.”
Our feelings do not make us “bad” or “weak.” When we name and experience them in healthy ways, they can serve as signals that help us understand ourselves and respond to the world around us. It is good to show up human-sized, because that is who we are. We are not superhuman or above experiencing shame, anger, gladness, or fear. Each feeling tells us something about our experience at that moment. We can listen with curiosity without allowing our feelings to make every decision for us.
During a Check In, each learner names what they are feeling and shares what they are doing with it. Then we ask, “Are you with us?”
For us, this is a question about relational presence—not a test of belonging. To be “with us” means being available to engage in conversation, listen to others, and remain connected—not simply being physically in the room.
There is also room to say, “I am not with us.” This might mean, “I am physically here, but something I am carrying is making it difficult to engage or participate today.” That honesty is welcome. Naming our limits is part of showing up truthfully, too.
Perhaps the most freeing part of this practice is what follows: whether someone is “with us” or not, we bless them.
This blessing is simple, yet profound. It communicates: You do not have to feel differently or be fully present to receive our care. You are made in God’s image. You belong here, and we bless you right where you are.
What would it look like to practice this kind of curiosity and care—with yourself, with God, or in community? Begin with four simple steps:
Where am I? What feelings am I experiencing today? Notice and name them without judgment.
What am I doing with my feelings? How am I responding, and how might that affect the way I relate to others?
Am I with us? How available am I to listen, engage, and participate today? What limits do I need to name honestly?
Receive and offer a blessing. Whether you feel fully present or are struggling to engage, make room for these words: May God meet you where you are. You are loved, and you belong.
Here is a blessing you can freely receive today from the Book of Common Prayer,
The peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God, and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord; and the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be among you, and remain with you always. Amen.
